Several days ago, I saw a woman on the street who I immediately recognized. On second glance, she appeared to be approximately 20 years older then the person I thought she was initially. However, I still believe that this woman was indeed my friend Erin Foye – ONLY SHE WAS FROM THE FUTURE. I did not meet this woman that day, but here is the conversation we had on the sidewalk in the year 2011.
ME: When are you from?
ERIN: Did you say “when”?
ME: I know who you are. I know you’re Erin Foye. And I know that you’ve come from the future. My guess is probably 2025.
ERIN: How did you know? It’s good to see you Craig. And actually I’m back from 2037.
ME: Really!? My goodness you’ve aged extremely well.
ERIN: Thanks. I’d like to say it’s all natural but there have been some wondrous medical advancements in anti-aging technology. Not plastic surgery or anything. More like sleeping in hyperbaric chambers and things like that.
ME: So I have to ask… phone booth or Delorean?
ERIN: I’m really not at liberty to discuss the method by which I’ve returned. But I’m 88% sure you already know the answer.
ME: That’s heavy. So is the future really, you know…futuristic?
ERIN: Well it is the future.
ME: I mean with all the gadgets, flying cars, hoverboards, and microchips implanted in our brains. Or is it more of dystopian post-apocalyptic nuclear fallout vibe?
ERIN: Neither actually. Sci-fi movies of the past presented a very narrow all-or-nothing outlook for our society. When in fact, the reality lands somewhere in the middle. We continued to destroy certain regions and aspects of our world but we’ve been able to advance others and maintain a reasonably safe and sustainable future.
ME: That sounds like an incredibly boring movie.
ERIN: Although I suppose it was rather unexpected when we were invaded and conquered by our then friendly neighbors to the north.
ME: We were conquered by Canada? But they’re so nice.
ERIN: You could say they killed us with kindness. But more accurately with nuclear weapons.
ME: So what are you doing here? Are you warning Erin about something? Are you here to kill someone? Can I help?
ERIN: Are you asking if you can help me kill someone?
ME: I’m not saying I would, but if you had a good reason I might be willing to get my hands dirty. Honestly, who hasn’t fantasized about trying to get away with murder? Wait – are you here to tell me something about my future? Do I get caught trying to murder someone?
ERIN: You’re kinda freaking me out.
ME: Sorry. Sorry. The whole time travel thing is messing with my head.
ERIN: Put your mind at ease. You have nothing to worry about. This is actually more of a vacation for me then it is a mission to save all of humanity.
ME: I suppose that should be a relief. But I have to admit it’s kind of disappointing.
ERIN: Sorry the future isn’t as exciting as you had hoped. But hey - we’re still friends. We’re actually grabbing dinner together next week…in 2037 I mean. There’s this new great maple syrup restaurant that just opened up.
ME: Oh Canada.