I went to The Future a few nights ago (unfortunately I am not talking about time travel). The Future is an excellent movie written, directed by, and starring Miranda July. At one point during the movie after a particularly funny moment, I glanced out at the rest of the audience, only to find the man next to me dozing off. I did not meet this man, but here is the conversation we had while whispering in the movie theater after I nudged him awake.

ME: You’re sleeping.
SLEEPER: Not anymore I’m not. Was I snoring?
ME: No.
SLEEPER: Then why did you wake me up?
ME: You’re missing the movie. And it’s really good. So I figured I’d help you out.  Why do I get the feeling I’m not helping you out?
SLEEPER: Because I want to be sleeping. I’m exhausted. I come to the theater specifically to sleep. I can’t sleep anywhere else.
ME: Is this a “my wife and kids will be the death of me” kind of thing?
SLEEPER: No I’m single.  I just have this thing where I can’t sleep at home in a bed. I can only fall asleep in public places surrounded by lots of people. Movie theaters seem to be the best. Probably has something to do with the darkness and the smell of popcorn.
ME: But it’s so loud and extremely flashy and bright.
SLEEPER: That’s why I usually stick to the indie movies.  Summers are tough with all the blockbusters. Too many explosions. It’s hard to sleep through something like Green Lantern. Especially with all the people walking out and constantly stepping on your toes.
ME: Plus the indie flicks usually have soothing pleasant music.
SLEEPER: Exactly.
ME: Where else do you like to sleep?
SLEEPER: Besides the movies? Concerts are ok. Especially for stoner jam bands in larger venues. I’ll sit on the bench in the mall and sleep. But the security guards like to assert their ridiculous power.  I’ve also been known to catch a few winks on the subway. 
ME: Everyone sleeps on the subway
SLEEPER: Not standing up they don’t
ME: You can sleep standing up on a train.
SLEEPER: And I don’t even have to hold on to anything.
ME: No way in hell. I have got to see this.
SLEEPER: Well shut up and let me finish sleeping here. Then when the movies over you can follow me home on the subway. I need someone to wake me up at my stop anyway.
ME: Deal.  Can I get you a blanket or something?
SLEEPER: If you’re not using your sweatshirt, that would be lovely.


  1. HA!

    well, did you following him home and did he sleep standing up??

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