Last night I was eating at Baja Fresh at approximately 8pm. While enjoying my grilled veggie burrito, the door opened, and in walked two scantily clad young women and young guy with very floppy hair. They seemed to be dressed inappropriately for the place, the time, and their apparent age. I became transfixed on them for the rest of my meal. I did not meet these people, but here is the conversation I had with the platinum blonde girl (she appeared to be the ring leader).

ME: Forgive me for being so forward, but I have some questions I would like you to ask you.

BLONDIE: Are you a cop?

ME: No. Just a curious citizen.

BLONDIE: Buy me a quesadilla and you can ask me whatever you want.

ME: Done.

(After buying her a quesadilla AND a soda, we resumed our conversation)

ME: First question – how old are you?


ME: Not possible. You look like you could maybe be 19, but your friends over there look 16 tops. Seriously? 23?

BLONDIE: Fine. 22.

ME: Second question - what the heck are you doing in a Baja Fresh at 8pm on a Tuesday night dressed like you’re going out to a club looking to get laid?

BLONDIE: I’m getting some food before I go out to a club and try to get laid.

ME: Oh. That makes sense then. You know I thought I had more questions, but I don’t. Just those two.

BLONDIE: So can I go now?

ME: Wait. I thought of another one. Did you know that your dress is so short that I can almost see your who-ha?

BLONDIE: Yes. I did know that. Sexy huh?

ME: Well. Considering I thought you were about 16 years old a few minutes ago. Not really.

BLONDIE: What do you know? You’re some lame old guy.

ME: Hey. I’m only 28. Plus, how do you know I’m lame? I mean I am. But what gave me away?

BLONDIE: You just have that look about you.

ME: I just figured out who you remind me of. There was this girl in college that had that exact same platinum blonde hair color. It’s so blonde it’s practically white.

BLONDIE: This is natural.

ME: No it’s not. She also listened to Cher. She had a whole album of remixes of that one Cher song – Believe.

BLONDIE: I love that song.

ME: Of course you do. Enjoy the quesadilla. Use a condom.

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