BALD GUY STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET WITH BINOCULARS
As I drove down the street the other night to drop off a friend at her apartment, I saw a tall bald man standing in the middle of the street. He had binoculars on a strap around his neck and was looking through them. I did not meet this man, but here is a conversation we had in the middle of the street.
ME: You know what I am going to ask you right?
BINOCS: You’re going to ask me what I’m doing in the middle of the street late at night looking through these binoculars.
ME: Yes. That is what I am going to ask you.
BINOCS: Well go ahead and ask then.
ME: You’re going to make me ask you.
ME: Sigh. What are you doing in the middle of the street late at night looking through binoculars?
BINOCS: I’m bird watching.
ME: But it’s pitch black outside. What kind of birds could you possibly be watching?
BINOCS: Glow-in-the-dark birds.
ME: Glow-in-the-dark birds exist? Are you freaking kidding me? That’s awesome.
BINOCS: Well I haven’t seen any yet.
ME: You mean tonight?
BINOCS: No. Ever.
ME: Oh. Well what makes you think that they’re out there then?
BINOCS: Faith. If I believe in them, they will come.
ME: How many nights have you been out here looking for them?
BINOCS: Since 1974.
ME: Wow. You’ve been out here every night since 1974 looking for glow-in-the-dark birds.
BINOCS: Not every night. Only Wednesday nights. They only come out on Wednesday nights. Actually that’s not true. They’re out during the day on Wednesday too. But you can’t tell that they glow-in-the-dark because they just look like normal birds.
ME: Are there other animals that glow-in-the-dark?
BINOCS: I guess I really never thought about that. I suppose there could be. If there are any other animals that glow-in-the-dark, it would most likely be kangaroos.
ME: Why kangaroos?
BINOCS: Because they hop.
ME: Thank makes sense. Sooooooo…can I watch with you?