HOT DOG VENDOR OUTSIDE EL DIA DE LOS MUERTOS CELEBRATION

The Hollywood Forever Cemetery hosts a huge celebration for The Day of the Dead. Hundreds or people show up to dance and eat and celebrate their fallen friends and family. I drove by the celebration and gawked at the enormous crowds. I also noticed a man selling hot dogs from a small cart. I did not meet this man, but here is the fake conversation we had outside the cemetery.

HOT DOG VENDOR: Would you like a hot dog wrapped in bacon?
ME: I don’t eat meat.
HDV: I also have hot dogs that are not wrapped in bacon.
ME: The hot dogs themselves are made of meat.
HDV: Are hot dogs meat?
ME: Sort of. I guess. Yes.
HDV: Are you enjoying El Dia de los Muertos?
ME: I would be enjoying this a lot more if I were dead. Not that I want to be dead. It’s just that this is the only day anyone is ever happy to see them – so it’s a good day for them. It must suck to be dead the other 364.25 days a year.
HDV: I don’t know. It might be fun to be a ghost. Have you ever seen Beetlejuice?
ME: Those people are miserable the entire movie.
HDV: Not at the end. (singing) Jump in de line, rock your body in time.
ME: OK, I believe you!
HDV: What brings you here? Is there someone buried here that you’re visiting?
ME: No. I just enjoy cemeteries. Used to hang out in them from time to time. Actually I enjoy them when they are deserted and quiet. But I thought it would be interesting to see one like this.
HDV: Have you ever robbed a grave?
ME: Ummm, I’m going to ignore that. But I have always wanted to dig a grave for some reason. A new one I mean. There’s something satisfying about digging a hole.
HDV: Would you like to dig a hole in my yard? You can.
ME: What an odd and generous offer. Do you need a hole in your yard for something?
HDV: No.
ME: Why would you let me dig a hole in your yard then?
HDV: Because you look like a guy who needs to dig a hole.
ME: I’m not sure what that means.
HDV: Well it wasn’t an insult. But it wasn’t a compliment either. Here’s my address. Come on by and dig whenever you want. You have to bring your own shovel though. Are you sure you don’t want a hot dog?
ME: Do you have a tofu pup?